Comic for Monday, July 7th, 2008

Posted: 12:20 am, Monday, July 7th

Toyota evidently brought back that chick with the enunciation for their ads. I don't know if it's just age or the fact that she's not wearing all-black, but she's not as attractive as she used to be.

I can't believe Sports Illustrated was on top of Venus Williams back in '91. Wow. And, yes, I said 'on top of' and then a female's name. Yuk it up.

I'm not much of a vodka person, and I'm not much for flavored booze at all, but, yeah, I do have to admit to liking vanilla vodka. And this coffee-flavored vodka does not sound brutal. Tomato vodka, though. Yeah, that's rough.

Don't you just feel terrible for the guy with the brand-new GMC Denali XL? I'm going to send him five dollars. (I do feel bad for the truckers. And for pizza guys in suburbia. And that's about it.)

I also have little sympathy for McCain's inability to read the teleprompter. Of course, he hates the bloggers, so I guess it's a two-way street.

By the way, I've been giving the Onion News Network a big pass to this point - which is weird, because I generally consume anything the Onion throws at me - but this is brilliant.

2.0 and I didn't do a whole ton on Friday, mostly continued to unpack boxes and what-all, since the place still needs some work, and then tried to watch the fireworks from the terrace. It didn't work, so we caught some of TV Land's I Love Lucy marathon. That was a really pretty funny show. Lucy and Desi had great timing that actually holds together even today. Nice to know.

Bought me a bunch of teacher-clothes yesterday, hoping to avoid this for at least one year.

Heavens alive, I fucking hate the Yankees. Congratulations to Joe Girardi for being able to rally his troops by getting thrown out arguing balls and strikes after all the breaks the Goat Fuckers got over the weekend. I couldn't have done that, myself, I would've bust up laughing before the ump ever would've thrown me. Seriously, bra-vo. (And excellently done, Manny, coming in to pinch hit with the go-ahead on third, and not swinging the bat once in three pitches. Super!)

Alright, back to the grind for moi.

bullfrog

Bullfrog -- Monday, July 7 2008, 12:19 am

I can't go to bed without posting this, though - seriously, A-Rod is a gift from God to keep me laughing, I'm pretty certain.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07062008/news/nationalnews/brainwashed_kabbal_player_118718.htm

We haven't surpassed the she-male muscular stripper comment from last year, but it's early in the proceedings. Please let this go to court. The Smoking Gun will be must-read for months.

After Girardi left they showed the pitches he was crying about on ESPN with the strike zone - all strikes. Perhaps he was just upset about Joba having to, you know, actually pitch against a team with a winning record (Texas doesn't count).

Unsatisfying. Should have been a sweep. Poor Timmah. And can we please get a real shortstop who could have knocked Gardiner's dribbler down and let Paps smoke Jeter? Ye gods, Lugo is useless. Can they just bring up Lowrie and eat the contract?

Zero

Did you notice the quotes from 2 people in Marion, Ohio in that gas price article? Wooooo! Did they throw a dart at a map and randomly call people at that location for quotes?

Has Grafe beaten the bloxorz game yet? I was glad to see MNP's comment. It helped soothe the fear that my enthusiasm for the game wasn't solely a factor of my subconscious(ness?) begging for a distraction.

I beat the bloxorz game over the weekend. Good find, MJL. It was one of the better Flash games I have played.

I will say my husband spent many an hour this weekend playing bloxorz, but I'm not sure if he actually beat it or not.

I got up to level 18, I think. Highly addictive -- thanks!

Mass comment dump for me!

I think I only got to 13 or so on Bloxorz, but it was becoming really evident I was paying no attention to my dad on the phone, so I stopped playing.

I agree, Zero, Lugo needs to be taken out back and shot. Gammons mentioned last night the Sox were looking for a shortstop - I will scream if they trade for one. Fucking Lowrie may not be great shakes with the mitt, but he can't top Lugo's error rate, and he's a much better hitter. Just trade Lugo for a live bullpen arm - or, fuck, a dead one, it's probably better than Lopez at this point - and eat the contract. I really just wish Theo had signed Cabrera to a four-year after the '04 title. We'd be riding out the last year of his contract and maybe would give him a one-year extension pending Lowrie's readiness. God, Theo's terrible when it comes to SS.

I totally forgot to mention the Marion connection in the gas article, RAW. My bad. I forget to mention so much these days between finding the article and eventually posting it.

Busy day at work. Thank god they allow me to use my own laptop on their internet without supervision. (Woo!)

Tampa Bay lost for the first time in like forever.

A-Rod is like a man-purse away from being on some Bravo show giving out fashion advice to clueless men. And considering the whole A-Rod and Madonna deal (It's almost to the point that if A-Rod and Jeter touch each other, even incidental contact, they are so polar opposite it would cause a spontaneous explosion.), I'm beginning to understand the whole "Fuck You" shirt that ex-Mrs. A-Rod was wearing last year.

So, when do we start having comics with Ron again?

1. A-Rod can worship my frozen dead head if he wants, as long as he goes 50 HR, 140 RBI. Kabbalah, schmabbala. 2. If you agree with that ump's strike zone, that means you love Joe Morgan and the "K-Zone" or whatever the fuck it's called, since they seemed to agree with it too. He made bad calls against the Sox too. 3. Can Papelbon stop making that stupid mad face? Made me so happy to see some suck rookie get his third major league hit to win the game off of that stupid coin-slot mouthed baby. 4. I stopped at level 13 on Bloxorz too. Stupid job and stupid boss came by.

Papelbon can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. No doubt if he was playing Bloxorz while at HIS job it wouldn't make any damn difference, not to his ERA *or* Francona.

That's why he's making the big bucks baby.

Hell no, man, remember Dave Stewart? Scariest mofo alive. Give Paps a few years to get grizzled and he'll look that way, too. And when A-Rod goes through his Goth stage in a few years and switches to black lipstick, he'll look scary, too.

I know the umps were making terrible strike zone calls against the Sox, too, but you didn't see Tito out there arguing it. And I don't recall Melky Cabrera making a catch and having it called a trap at all over the weekend.

And, Miyaa - Ron who?